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You can be forgiven for thinking that BDSM is just latex bodysuits, riding crops, silk scarves, the occasional butt plug, and the finest dungeon in town – Fifty Shades really didn’t sell it that well. The reality, however, is that there is a plethora of BDSM devices and techniques that can be used to help explore your psychosexual side; giving those with the desire a chance to mix up their regular bedroom dynamic.

Looking to immerse yourself into the world of BDSM, but don’t know where to start? Follow our tips for a successful first time.

Firstly… What exactly is BDSM?sexy model in handcuffs

BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline/Domination, Submission/ Sadism and Masochism. It consists of intentionally designed scenarios whereby two or more people play out pleasurable acts that they’ve consensually negotiated.

Bondage involves some kind of restraint coupled with stimulation while the discipline aspect – which can accompany bondage – includes being chastised; both of these acts can be played out individually. Submission and domination refers to the roles people play in their scene, and sadism and masochism generally refer to the individuals’ relationship with pain, whereby the sadist likes to inflict pain, and the masochist prefers to receive pain.

Now that you know what it’s all about, let’s get down to business…

Choose One Adventure at a Time

Whipping out – pardon the pun – a muzzle and suspension footholds on your first try may scare you and your partner off for life. The same can also be said for attempting too many activities at once; you’ll not only feel disheartened but it will make it that much harder when trying to figure out what truly gets you going. By incorporating one element of BDSM at a time, you can easily best buy for levitra reflect on what you did and didn’t like, and begin to build your very own erotic adventure. Start with a simple spanking. If you feel pleasure, add in some restraint or test out some verbal discipline. Each layer adds a new level of risk and excitement, so take it slow and you’ll have a far better experience.

Be Clear on the Sexual Energy You Want to Explore

An erotic spanking isn’t just an erotic spanking. It can be romantic and tender, or rough and dominating. If you simply ask your BDSM partner for a spanking, you may not get what you were hoping for. Don’t be afraid to get specific with your desired erotic energy; by doing so, you’ll be able to relax into your role.

Always Have a Safe Word

A safe word should always be in place for when things start to get too intense or you’ve simply had enough. For example, if your ropes/straps become unbearably tight, say your safe word and they will stop. A simple ‘no’ won’t do though. Make your safe word specific; it could be colours, objects, streets names, or something that turns you off completely.

 

Communication with your partner is such an important aspect of BDSM, but it’s one that is commonly ignored by beginners. You both need to clarify what will and won’t happen, including limits on the activity you are about to partake in. It could be anything from stimulation limits, to hair pulling techniques and things you don’t like to be called. As you progress through your BDSM journey, there is always room for negotiation. As long as you communicate, you will always have a fundamental level of trust.

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